Sunday, March 8, 2009

It's been a long time

It's been a long time since I sat down and took the time to write. There has been a lot on my mind lately. It's been a very frustrating weekend. I had plans to have a retreat of sorts. I had a wonderful friend who was willing to take all of my kids for the weekend. I had bags packed and ready to go, and five minutes before I was due to leave work on Friday I received a phone call that Hannah was throwing up and had a fever. She spent the rest of the weekend sick. Sara came and took the boys for the afternoon on Saturday and Hannah slept the whole time they were gone so I was able to get some things done. I was dissapointed that one of the kids was sick yet again, and dissapointed that I didn't get to have my weekend. I have been searching for answers for a long time and part of the plan for the weekend was to spend a few hours with just my Bible, and pen and a notebook. Spending time in prayer and quiet and just doing like Psalms 46:10 says and Be still and know that he is God. Spending time with him and expecting an awesome encounter with Holy God. I was nervous b/c I think I have been avoiding God. I know that sounds bad, but I was/am afraid of losing control, and yes I know I never had it to begin with, so I was scared of losing the illusion of control. But I was ready.....ready for the encounter. So maybe another weekend, maybe another day. Was her getting sick His way of telling me that now is not the right time or was it just a bad coincidence? Who knows, not me. Anyways....I guess this is the end of my ramble. =)

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