Wednesday, November 24, 2010

What I am thankful for....

I started the "thankfulness challenge" on facebook that so many of my friends have undertaken and stayed with the whole time. I wasn't so great at it but i am going to try and list them here.

1. I am thankful for my saviour, Jesus Christ, without him I would be nothing and have nothing.
2. My husband. Things haven't always been perfect but we love each other and are trying each day to make it work.
3. My four beautiful children, they are one of life's greatest blessings.
4. Having a home to live in. somewhere to be kept safe and out of the weather. and a pillow to lay my head on at night.
5. My amazing friends. You have been there to hold my hand, laugh with me, cry with me, and just listen when I needed someone to talk to.
6. My job----even thought some days I seem to hate it with all that I am. I'm thankful that I have a job to help me provide for my family.
7. My dad----he was always there and loved me unconditionally through all of my ups and downs. He gave up so much to try to help us have what we needed/wanted.
8. My sister, she is amazing. she deals with much more than someone her age should have to be dealing with, things that I should be my responsibilty as the oldest sibling but bc of the military I can't be there so she steps in and for that I am thankful.
9. health care and having the acess to get the treatment that we need. and the knowledge that the doctors have to help take care of my children and myself. God has given us all great doctors who work hard to make sure we are doing the best we possibly can.
10. i am thankful that Aiden is going to be able to go back to school and is enrolled in the Early Childhood Special Education program and be able to get more serivces and the help that he needs. I think his new speech therapist put it best today, we will all be working to find the keys to "unlock" him. I know that one day he will be able to talk to us and we will understand him. It will be so much better for him.
11. I am thankful for our church. We have been blessed with amazing staff and an amazing pastor. I coudln't ask for a better church.
12. I am thankful for the beautiful weather that we have been having. I love this time of year, as the seasons are changing. The world is painted in so many different shades of color. Its amazing.
13. I am thankful for our military, who give up so much for the freedoms that we often take for granted.
14. I am thankful for God's faithfulness. He has never let me down. His mercy's are new every morning.
15. I am thankful for Starbucks, they have great coffee, and they also don't mind if you hang out there for a little while and catch up on conversations with friends.
16. I am thankful for the kids teachers, who give of themselves so that my children may have an education.
17. I am thankful for forgiveness.
18. I am thankful for children's laughter. there is something in a child's gigle or laugh that just makes me smile and warms my heart.
19. I am thankful for music. esp on K-love. music speaks to my heart in a way that nothing else can.
20. I am thankful for the answered prayers.
21. And I am thankful for some of the unanswered ones too...
22. I am thankful for the freedoms we have in our country.
23. I am thankful for how God has his hand on our lives, even the small details, and how he works it all out just according to his plan.
24. and i am thankful that God isn't finished with me yet. He's still working on me....

Monday, November 22, 2010

Hiding

All i want to do at this point is to run and hide....but not finding that very easy, people won't let me. But hiding would be so much easier. I could hide the pain I am fighting. I don't like anyone seeing me hurting. Oh how I wish I could say what I am really thinking, what I really want to do right now, but I can't on the chance of someone seeing it.............

Monday, November 15, 2010

shutting down....

i hate the days when i feel like this, wanting to run away and disappear from everything. almost quit my job today, just deactivated my fb account, i just wanna hide. life sucks.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

You are more...a reminder

These are the words to one of my new favorite songs right now. Its something I often need reminded of. I let my past dictate who I am today, often feeling the weight of the guilt on my shoulders. many days I feel unloveable and not worth too much but then I'm reminded that God loves me regardless of what i've done. he doesn't keep the past. It's gone! And he gave his Only Son so that we each can have this amazing gift of his unconditional love and forgiveness.

"you are more" tenth avenue north

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"
But don't you know who you are?
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are

You are more than the choices that you've made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You've been remade

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You've been remade

You are more than the choices that you've made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You've been remade

'Cause this is not about what you've done
But what's been done for you
This is not about where you've been
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel
But what He felt to forgive you
And what He felt to make you loved

You are more than the choices that you've made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You've been remade

You've been remade