Broken

God has really been working on me lately. I think Tracy, Geoff, TJ, and Tom Holland (different folks who have taught Sunday School over the last month of so) and Pastor Eric have been conspiring with God to keep talking directly to me. I guess I am just that hard headed. I'm slowly beginning to absorb and try to put into play those things that God keeps putting on my heart. A big one had to do with work and changing my attitude there. I believe that a change can come, it may be a long way off but that God wants me to shine for him and be a light in a dark room. A good Godly attitude in a room full of sometimes very gloomy outlooks and bad attitudes. Its been difficult and I don't imagine that it is going to get any easier any time soon.

On another note, God is humbling me beyond belief, which is also not an easy task to undergo. I think at times we all get wrapped up in our own problems and have ourselves a pity party and wallow in our problems and forget that there are others out there with much bigger problems. I struggle with Aiden's developmental problems and his asthma and the new need to go see the genetist. The other kids have a few misc. issues that I struggle with, but Aiden I always seem to worry over more. A old friend sent me a friend request today on facebook and as I was looking at her page I followed the link to her blog (www.curiousaboutcaed.blogspot.com) and I sat for hours in tears. This little boy and his family have gone through so much in the last year. Illness being seperated from family. This mom spent months in the hospital with her four/five year old son while her mother took care of her newborn baby. She missed out on so much. Her son will now have lifelong health problems and through it all she has given God the glory. I feel guilty because I don't always do that and my problems are so small compared to what others are going through.

This is a painful time in my life for these and other reasons. I know that God is going to bring me out on the other side a better and healed person. I pray for strength and comfort during this time.